A totally blank, white page be it in a notebook or on a newly opened blog is scary to me. Not being able to just start is such a stumbling block for me. I have always been a better editor (of other people’s writing) than I have been as a writer. Somehow it is easier to see the mote in another persons eye before I see the beam in mine.
I am never satisfied with what I have written, the many half-done journals scattered about my home testify to that. I start to write and if it is not perfect I rip out the page and start all over again. Sometimes I do get better results that way, but often all it does is stall me and start me on a round of daydreaming. I don’t think that I have one journal completely filled at this point. I have given up trying to keep them in any sort of chronological order, indeed I am lucky if I remember to date my ramblings.
This quest for the perfect journal also finds its way onto the net, as I am continually dissatisfied with every blog I have done so far. I get to a point and then another interest enters my life and it doesn’t seem to fit in with my current blog style. I go from dark, introspective and newly divorced to happy crafter with seemingly no idea of how I arrived here. And so I put another blog to bed again because it doesn’t seem to fit me any longer.
Perhaps that is what my blog should be. I am that indecision, change and creativity that so often throws me for a loop. All my friends already know and accept that about me…as far as any new readers, if you read it and want to stay I say Welcome! And if you choose not to then you have lots of good choices out there-no hard feelings.
Lastly, I will be transferring some of my posts from other blogs here so that those who want can still find them. So not everything will be in perfect order, but then I warned you about that already!